Beasting Up This Bossness

     I lost my blog.  Yep, I literally could not find it.  In all of this time, it appears I never saved it under favorites, it wasn't under history, it was just lost but now it's found.  Maybe tonight is a good night to figure out a way to mark it.  I worry me.
     I had a fabulous weekend taking a little road trip with my parental units and my boys to see my sis and her fam in SC.  The hubby was out fighting battles.  We did a whole lot of sitting, talking, EATING and dancing.  Fun! 
     Things I'm currently pondering.  Lent.  Homemade deodorant because aluminum in deodorant has always scared me.  Being more hospitable.  The Apostle's Creed.  Traveling.  I like diversity in my ponderings.
     Things that have recently amazed me.  The 6th Grader's ability to use Powerpoint much better than his mother.  Braces cost $5,000.  The 6th Grader's wisdom teeth are almost developed enough to have removed.  The 1st Grader's teeth have yet to come in on top although they've been almost visible through his gums for about a month.  Lots of teeth amazement it would seem.
      But the thing that takes the "has recently amazed me" prize is... (drum roll) I have to pick out a picture to go in the 6th Grader's yearbook in the little section we put in about him because he's graduating 6th grade.  I'll repeat that for those who may be staring in amazement with me at that statement...because he's graduating the 6th grade.  Deep breaths.  So, I've been looking through all his pictures from babyhood on, and now he's about to finish his elementary years.....amazing.  Yep, that one definitely wins. 
     I don't sit and ponder on this too much.  It has the potential to absolutely make me want to puke a little.  Everybody said it passes fast.  Everybody was right. These days, when I'm not wanting to choke him, he's hands down one of the funniest kids I know.  I try to focus on how much fun every stage is.  It is so weird though that it's been over twelve years since they laid him in my arms in the recovery room.  It really seems like just a few months ago.  And the smell of Baby Magic can instantly take me back to holding him over my shoulder and sniffing his sweet head in the hospital the night he was born.  Just last week, I was in choir practice and was flooded with the memory of walking into choir practice four days overdue with him, and everyone groaning and laughing that I was still waddling around.  Then I thought about how I would take him to choir practice with me when he was a new baby and put the blanket over his head and pat his bottom until he went to sleep and stress everyone that I was smothering him.  I can remember laying him on the changing table the first day after we brought him home from the hospital as clearly as if I had done it this morning.  I looked at him and didn't have panic, just an overwhelming realization that he was here to stay.  I can see him spinning that adorable face around as soon as his back would hit the changing table even as that tiny baby to look at "dogster" that Miss Wanda gave him.  It was automatic and cracked us up every time.  I could go on and on, and it would just cover his first couple of months in this world.
     And now I'm picking out a picture to put in his 6th grade yearbook.  Wow.  We bug each other quite a bit now, and he doesn't smell like Baby Magic anymore, but like his dad's aftershave that he sneaks on his way out the door to school.  Times of worrying that he spits up too much have turned to times of worrying that he'll understand the dangers of synthetic drugs.  Times of trying to teach him to sit up have turned to times of trying to teach him how to become a man of God and lead by example.  Times of holding him while he sleeps have turned to times of letting him go more and more. 
     All these changes can make a mama sad, that's for sure, but with those sad changes comes some great ones too.  There are sports to watch and cheer him on, and friends that are in and out to enjoy and cut up with.  There are dry-witted comments just like his dad's that crack me up.  There are conversations that are more adult to adult.  There are the amazing accent abilities, even if they are politically incorrect, and he has no tact of when to use them.  There's seeing him become a young man that people love and trust.  And there's seeing him just plain ole get it right sometimes.  That makes a mama's heart glad.
     But there are a few things that just haven't changed, and I'm not sure they ever will.  There's the part where he's a mama's boy...a great big, bull in a china shop, offensive tackling, two hamburger eatin'  mama's boy just like he's always been.  Oh yeah, we get into it with lots of me saying, "You better get that look off your face!", but some things haven't changed much at all.  He still wants to know where I am every minute.  He still gives lots of hugs and I love you's to his mama.  And he even still climbs in the  bed with us in the mornings just to hang out sometimes.  Some things definitely change, but some things stay really close to the same. 
      And there's another thing that's stayed the same.  His mama being thankful.  I'm thankful that I'm learning to look at all the fun that's yet to come and not be so sad about what's already gone by.  But more than anything, I'm as thankful now as I was over twelve years ago.  I've thanked God since the day he was born for this precious, giant boy who has made my world such an amazingly better place by having him it. 
     Now, it's time for me to go find a picture.

    
 

Love Ya. Mean It.

     Now please don't be jealous of my glamorous life because at this house, we are hopeless romantics.  For our special Valentine's evening, we took kids to scouts, put clean sheets on their beds and had a fancy dinner of Progresso soup and an egg sandwich.  The hubby has to be at work at 5am, so he headed to bed by 9:30.  We are just a house full of excitement tonight.  If you're green with envy right now, it is completely understandable.
     But I'd like to say one more thing about this night, it's all OK with me.  Now fancy dinners and date nights are fun with my hubby, that's for sure, but tonight wasn't anything to sneeze at.  We giggled and cut-up trying to get sheets on the beds.  We sang so the dog would howl and were terribly entertained.  We discussed odd drawings by the first grader and looked puzzled at each other.  We debated with the sixth grader that no, he is not dyslexic, and yes, he has to do his homework.  We talked about crazy work people and how a five mile hike is a long way.  And then, we gave each other a peck on the lips and said, "Good night, love you" , and we meant it. 
     We've meant it for a long time.  We've meant it for 14 and a half years of marriage and 6 months of engagement and 3 years of dating before that and 3 years of close friendship before that.  It's not a perfect, flowery, mushy, silly love which seems to be the thing on Valentine's Day, and don't even get me started on how stupid I think the phrase "soul mate" is.  This "love you" is the kind that laughs together at dogs barking to I'll Fly Away.  It's that kind that giggles at ignorant seductive comments that are anything but seductive while putting Safari sheets on a kid's bed. This "love you" is the one that through years of laughing and fighting and having babies and raising babies and praying and paying bills and buying houses and going to work and doing laundry and watching TV makes you look at that person and think, I'm so glad I'm doing all of this with you.  Do notice the word "fighting" in there.  We haven't done it all without many a heated discussion along the way, but when it's all said and done, one thing hasn't changed.  I'm so glad I'm doing all of this with him.
    There are other things about this "love you".  It's the kind where I look at the clock and think, Oh good, he'll be home soon or when he looks at our schedules and says, "Oh yay, we have Thursday off together."  It's this "love you" that makes me smile when I get texts at work that say "Good morning, Sweetie" or just coming in after a long day at work and getting a big hug.  There's other things about this "love you", but well, I better stop there with a wink and a smile.  ;)
     So it's now 1 in the morning, and I'm going to go climb in bed with the snoring hubby.  And after I hit him with my elbow to make him roll over out of my ear, he's going to wake up just a little.  As he rolls on over, he'll say, "Good night, Sweetie. Love you."  I'll say, "Love you too."  And we'll mean it.

    
 
    
 
    
  

Ladd and Son

     One of the most defining times in my life, when I knew God was absolutely in charge and things are in His time and not mine, was when I was pregnant with the 6th Grader.  It's a long story, but I've got time and to be honest, that's the only kind I tell.  So here goes.
     The hubby and I had been married about 15 months when I got pregnant with him.  Up until that point, I carried our health insurance because none was offered where the hubby worked.  I found out I was pregnant in January of 1999, and I started praying in January of 1999 that God would give the hubby a new job that had great benefits.  I knew I didn't want to work full-time once the baby was born and wasn't sure I would go back to work at all, so I got busy.  I sent out lots of resumes for him to whatever fax number I could find to whatever company I thought might hire him and have great benefits.  So based on my prayer and my effort, I assumed he would have a new job with, of course, great benefits by February of 1999.  Since I'm not completely ridiculous, I thought I'd give God until March just because I'm such a good sport.  Somehow, I think God decided to see how good of sport He could make me because February came and went with no calls.  Then, believe it or not, March came and went with no calls.  Um, God?  Hello? I prayed.  Lets whip up a job right quick now, how bout it?
     Now funny enough, I was also teaching a college and career class at church at this time.  I lie not, I think every Sunday was some version of a lesson on waiting on God.  Those poor kids.  They were merely the victims of my needing to learn a huge lesson.  They had to endure week after week of the same lesson because of me.  Maybe He was teaching them to be good sports too.
     My belly grew and my baby flopped, and no new job was had.  The hubby went to some random interviews during that time.  He would come back on occasion and say curiously, "Um honey, what made you decide to send my resume to that place?"  "I thought they might hire you," was always the answer, no matter how odd the job might have been.  And the belly grew and the baby flopped and the job was not happening, but I knew I was not leaving this flopping baby 40+ hours a week.  I knew something would work out. 
     My initial due date with the flopping baby was 9/9/99.  How cool is that?  It was cool for about 15 minutes until they did an ultrasound and changed it to 09/18/99.  On 9/18/99, the belly was huge, the baby could no longer flop and no job leads were in the works.  I'm pretty sure I reminded God that I thought we should have had this all settled back in February.  I'm pretty sure He reminded me that I wasn't in charge.
    Then it happened.  On Monday, I was two days overdue, and the phone rang.  It was a local cabinet shop wanting to interview the hubby.  Oddly enough, cabinetry was the line of business he was in.  He set up the interview for that Wednesday, with me in a state of four days overdueness (made up word for the purposes of this story).  I was at church that evening when I talked to him.  He said the interview went well, but they were looking for someone to be self-employed.  He'd have to have all his own tools, vehicle, everything, so he didn't think it would work.  That would be a big investment for two people married just over two years with a baby on the way (or not- we weren't sure at this point he was ever coming out).  And one last detail he mentioned, we could buy our health insurance through them, a very strange thing that almost no one offers their subcontract employees. 

     On Saturday evening, our precious boy was born, and WE WERE THRILLED!  We had tons of feedings, tons of visitors and tons of emotions.  We sort of forgot about the job situation until Monday.  While still lying in a hospital bed holding my new baby, the hubby went over to the phone, called his current employer and gave his notice.  Did I mention that my sister and her husband who knew nothing about nothing at this point were sitting in the room with us?  Did I also mention she about fell in the floor with a look of panic that her brother-in-law was quitting his job with a brand new baby to take care of?  When they heard the story, they were so excited,  "Your own company!  It can be Ladd and Son now!"  I remember looking at the hubby and saying, "We are crazy!  Can you believe we're doing all of this right now?"  God's timing is God's timing. 
     He did start the job, did have great insurance and did have all the supplies he needed including a trailer to pull.  When we went to get the trailer, he said, "How do we pay for it?"  We wrote a check for the over $500.  To this day, I don't know how we had that extra money.  No one gave it to us.  We didn't budget it.  It was just there.  I'll never forget him saying, "Seriously, where did we get that?"  I said, "I don't know but pay for it quick before it's gone." 
     I got saved when I was young, so I don't have the reformed druggie, lived on the streets testimony that some have.  Times like this in my life are my testimony.  Times, when if we'd known in advance, would have looked like there would be no way.  I learned a lot from that few months.  I've not mastered anything, but I do have more faith because of it.
     The hubby moved on to another job after about six years and is no longer self-employed.  The job was a blessing and what we needed at the time.  I don't know if he'll ever be self-employed again, but if so, we'll update the title of the company and add an "s".  We'll be the proud owners of Ladd and Sons.

One Word Can Make All The Difference

     So, I guess we can see that my determination to be a more faithful blogger than I was journaler was a little less than successful.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll be a monthly blogger, start a whole new fad. 
     I had a fabulous birthday.  Girls from work took me out to lunch.  My husband brought me New York Giants cupcakes.  It was sweet but confusing since I'm not even much of a professional football fan and certainly not the Giants.  He explained he had a very limited selection consisting of Tron and Dora.  Dora apparently was a close second.  We had a birthday celebration with the family at Jason's Deli with great gifts and a homemade cake by Mom.  The other funniest girl I know, besides me, gave me a fabulous print she made with a verse we had noticed in church one day.  Another good buddy gave me homemade cookies this past Sunday.  I love a birthday and stretching it out for as long as possible.  I've done pretty well this year.  I'm not sure I'm going to let it be over yet.  We'll see.
    So back to that print that other funniest girl made me.  The verse is Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."  It has been sitting in my living room since she gave it to me.  The 6th grader passes it every day.  After 4 days of passing by it, he stopped, stared at it a while, looked confused (not necessarily uncommon for him ie 6th grader) and said, "OHHH!  I thought it said The Lord will fight you!"  Wow.  Now doesn't that change the whole meaning of the verse?  Take one word out, and it is a whole new ballgame.  After a couple of weeks of having some conflict with random people which is highly, highly unusual since I try to avoid conflict at all costs (ok to be honest, with everyone but my hubby), I am really glad the verse didn't leave out the "for".   I fully recognize if I'd "be still" and let the Lord work it out, He always does a much, much better job than me.  Go figure.  I think I'll be leaving my print out for quite a while.  I need a lot of reminding.
    

So this made me happy tonight.  The 1st Grader has been super lovey, dovey of late.  Lots and lots of, "Know who I love?  My mommy!" and just sitting with me lots.  After church tonight, he brought me this card.  I needed a little help translating the bottom.  It says, "O, yea and thank for the wafles".  Since I'm pretty convinced my love language is words of affirmation, this made my day.  And I thought the "yea" was quite Biblical.  I really could squeeze him and by "really could" I mean I squeeze him.  He's a sweetie.

     So in closing, I'll finish with Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you, you need on to be still."  My prayer for me tonight is to learn to be still.  I've never been good at it.  I want to fix situations or talk to other people about the situations instead of going to the One who is waiting to fight for me, not fight me.  Oh thank Heavens there's a for!  Now maybe I'll work on reading with the 6th grader.